Saturday, August 13, 2011

On Being Friends With Girls... and New York!!

I have been completely MIA this week thanks to moving, finishing my internship, packing for Utah (yay!!) and getting things ready for my practicum presentation.  Whew!  Even just saying it all makes me get a little antsy!  haha 

But I wanted to post about my recent trip to NY to go visit some girlfriends from high school.  

L-R Me, Jess, and Krissy outside the MFA getting ready to go see the Alexander McQueen exhibit.  It was amazing!!

So, little confession to make here, but I think it's one that a lot of girls similar to me can identify with and benefit from, so I'm sharing it.  Growing up, most of my really close friends were all guys.  I think it was part a result of what was available and part a result of having developed a misconception about the relationships I was supposed to have with other girls.  

Somewhere along the lines I developed this notion that girls were generally people I had to compete with if I wanted to do anything successfully.  If I wanted to be Student Senate president in high school, I had to beat the other girls running for it.  If I wanted to be friends with the cool kids, I had to be cooler than the other girls.  If I wanted to date a cute guy, I had to be prettier than the other girls.  It was all about competing with the other girls, but it totally shouldn't have been!  

As I got further through college I was lucky enough to meet some amazingly great girls who showed me we didn't have to compete all the time and even that together we could do more than if we were just trying to succeed on our own.  

Having great girlfriends, not just girls your friends with, can afford you some of the best times in life!  They offer similar perspectives on things, understand how to empathize, and can simply relate better to wherever it is you're coming from.  Girls love to talk, and a lot of times, just chatting about things can help improve your day while strengthening your relationship and your bond with each other!

Outside the MFA again :) 

My beautifully bubbly friend Carissa, such a great girl!!  She is always super nice and happy and I love her for that!!

Magnolia Bakery is delicious!!

So over the years I've come to realize though that it takes work when you're trying to change years of unhealthy social behavior.  But it definitely is possible if you have some good staple standards up your sleeve, and here are some you might want to try if you're working on developing a better friendship with your girlfriends (or any friends!)

1. Be nice to people.  Seriously, it seems like a no-brainer, but oftentimes we as girls are super quick to judge and criticize each other.  Stop it!  That puts people on the defense and then they're really not going to be your friend.  

2. Compliment the other person on something or show sincere appreciation for something.  This is a great way to break the ice when talking to someone, and obviously helps build your relationship.

3. Be a good listener.  Pay attention to your friends when they talk!

4. Do things together that you enjoy! Um, spa day anyone? ;)

The girls after getting home from church on Sunday!  Our shoes were hurting, so barefoot it was! :)

In the end, no one can replace a really great girlfriend.  I only wish I'd learned about these amazing relationships before now!!  But hey, since September is coming and that's apparently National Women's Friendship Month, go celebrate by planning a fun girls night out!!  Gotta love reasons to celebrate! ;)


  1. So well said! I'm also in the midst of planning a trip to NYC with girlfriends from high school, and it's amazing how much more we know now than then!

  2. I see someone went to the McQueen exhibit!! I waited FIVE HOURS. How long did you wait? Wasn't it totally worth it?? (Also, great post.)